Esther 5:9-14 — Psychoanalysis time

READ THIS: Esther 5:9-14

9 Haman went out that day happy and in high spirits. But when he saw Mordecai at the king’s gate and observed that he neither rose nor showed fear in his presence, he was filled with rage against Mordecai. 10 Nevertheless, Haman restrained himself and went home. Calling together his friends and Zeresh, his wife, 11 Haman boasted to them about his vast wealth, his many sons, and all the ways the king had honored him and how he had elevated him above the other nobles and officials. 

12 “And that’s not all,” Haman added. “I’m the only person Queen Esther invited to accompany the king to the banquet she gave. And she has invited me along with the king tomorrow. 13 But all this gives me no satisfaction as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the king’s gate.” 

14 His wife Zeresh and all his friends said to him, “Have a pole set up, reaching to a height of fifty cubits, and ask the king in the morning to have Mordecai impaled on it. Then go with the king to the banquet and enjoy yourself.” This suggestion delighted Haman, and he had the pole set up.

WHAT’S THIS MEAN, ANYWAY?
 
Haman leaves from the special feast Esther threw and immediately runs into Mordecai, which spoils his good mood. In response, his wife and friends come up with the idea to kill Mordecai. We'll see what happens with that tomorrow, but, for now, let's focus on Haman. 

How could spotting Mordecai bother Haman so much? He already has plans for Mordecai's destruction, and Mordecai's indifferent treatment isn't a new thing (see here). The issue is this: Haman is caught up in maintaining his high self-esteem. Self-esteem is how a person sees him/herself based on accomplishments, achievements, etc. Haman really gets a kick out of being honored, and that makes him think very highly of himself. But, when he sees Mordecai, it's a reminder that not everyone honors him. Someone who doesn't honor him takes away from his accomplishments. Removing Mordecai removes that setback and fortifies Haman's self-esteem. 

What would be a bit less precarious for Haman's emotional stability would be having a high self-worth, where he knows that no matter how people treat him or how well he performs in life, he is valuable. But, it's pretty hard to have a high self-worth when our worth is determined by our self-esteem. When our self-worth is grounded in the fact that God Himself created us, loves us, and died for us, then suddenly it's okay if maybe our self-esteem takes a hit or two. 

THINK ABOUT IT:

1. How would you describe the difference between self-esteem and self-worth? How would you rate your self-esteem and self-worth on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the highest? (It can be two different numbers! Self-esteem and self-worth aren't the same thing!)
 
2. Where is your self-worth grounded? How do you know where it's grounded?

TRY THIS:

Pay attention today to when you feel good about yourself and when you feel bad about yourself. Try taking that to God, talking it out, AND asking God how you could think about Him in the midst of your feelings. 

SONG OF THE WEEK:
 
Listen to the song of the week and do a self-esteem/self-worth analysis of the singer! Rate where you think he's at for both. (Fun fact: I think the numbers are for sure different here)

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