James 4:1-3 — NO. THAT’S MINE!

READ THIS: James 4:1-3

1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

 

WHAT’S THIS MEAN, ANYWAY?

We are experts when it comes to fighting and arguing with each other. Before we can even learn how to talk, we cry and complain that someone else is playing with the toy we like most. Just a few years later, we fight over who gets to be the pitcher in kickball. A few years after that, we argue with our parents because they never let us do anything fun. A few years later, we argue with our spouse because we don’t see eye to eye about an issue that probably isn’t as important as we're making it. But why do we argue? Why do we fight? And why on earth do we do it so much?

James says we argue because of one thing, and it’s actually something we talked about a couple days ago: selfishness. When we fight, it’s usually because we want one thing and someone else wants something else… but how many of those fights would have lasted more than a second if someone took a breath and decided to put the other person’s needs above their own? Now, let’s be clear, this won’t solve all fights. Sometimes people do wrong things, and the best way to love them is by calling them out… but I am certain that we would argue a lot less if we started our arguments by listening and caring for the other person rather than making sure we get what we want!

THINK ABOUT IT:

1. What is the funniest thing you have ever spent time arguing about? 

2. James says we sometimes ask God for the wrong reasons (verse 3)… what do you think is a wrong reason to ask God for something?

 

TRY THIS:

Time to squash some beef! If you’re holding a grudge against someone you have been fighting with, do your best to put an end to that this week by figuring out one thing that THEY want, and try to do that!